1-Showing vulnerability levels the playing field, and compliments are one way to do it.
-You become charming by being disarming. You are not a threat. We are constantly sizing people up, trying to find out where we stand in comparison. We are so afraid that complimenting another somehow makes us appear less than. On the contrary, you endear yourself to the other.My husband, mesmerized by his co-worker’s rather large pad (at their company’s holiday party) asked, “Dude, wow, do we have the same job?” He instantly became this guy’s BFF.
2-Asking for help and advice makes your friend feel like a valued expert.
-Seeking a friend’s advice on a job, a trip, or a doctor’s recommendation makes your friend feel like a valuable resource. I frequently hear from my clients that they don’t feel appreciated at their job or at home on a daily basis. Asking for advice makes them feel “in the know” and it makes you appear humble. People love humble people.Of course, you want to remain respectful of your friend’s time and resources by reciprocating. This creates a sense of community and shared support system. I recently swapped coaching services with a nutrition friend, creating accountability. When going on vacation, I hit up friends on travel tips and I’m always impressed with how happy folks are to share their insights. I love learning, and they get to brag about base jumping. Win-win!I did this as a new mom, having no clue what to expect in those early days and now as a mom raising two little boys. It doesn’t matter how many professional degrees you have, at the end of the day, we have all felt vulnerable as a parent, questioning our decisions. I’m always happy to learn other’s insights and life experiences. (And of course, equally happy to shed that which seems totally off to me.)For the most part, asking for advice can be win-win when done within reason. Sometimes, though, we are too afraid to come off as a novice. Just remember the line, “There is no such thing as a stupid question”. (Or say to yourself, it’s OK to risk looking stupid just this once, but then I’ll know the answer. If all else fails there is always Wikipedia).3. Self-disclosure, with the right person, strengthens trust and invites the other to do the same, creating a common bond of human experience.One of my co-workers became a dear friend when she was in the process of her divorce. She reached out to other colleagues, and all of us became tighter as a result of her life-changing experience as she was able to be vulnerable and open up.This is important in friendships. It says I trust and respect what you have to offer and I value what you think enough to reveal something about myself. I’m not perfect. I’m not better than you. I need help sometimes.Often we work too hard to preserve an image of being “put together” or want to be seen as “having it all.” We don’t realise that it’s through the cracks that the light comes in. Let people into your life by sharing your difficulties.We set up barriers to closeness when we act holier-than-thou. Also, people love a little self-deprecating humor when well timed. You don’t want to get in the habit of putting yourself down.
3-Honesty is important in friendship.
-Every body like a people who has honesty, and many more relation honesty is require. Its not every things but it do strong your friendship. Like in my school time all my friends are followed that plan which maked and its habbits make people very close. Like in business two parties converted into a best friendship when both have faith in their soul. That’s why we generally says “HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY”.
4-Respect their choices. It is okay to disagree. If your friend decides to make a move when you think standing still is the right thing to do, let them do their thing. If you’ve given your advice and your friend sees things differently, step aside. What your friend is doing might be right for their life but not yours. They might be making a mistake, but if it doesn’t kill them, maim them, or leave them in a coma, hopefully they can learn from the experience. And, if it will kill them, lock them in a closet and don’t let them out until they’ve forgotten why you trapped them in there in the first place.
5-Make time for your friends. Spend time with your friends. It might feel odd to schedule your friends on your calendar, but if you have a busy schedule, getting them in your book, is better than letting them go. Show your friends that you want to be around them. Is your friend far away? Write them an email, chat with them via IM, call them on the phone, plan a weekend get together. Making time for your friends sends the message that they are an important part of your life.
6-Seek balance in your friendship. Entering a relationship with selfish motives and being a person who takes and takes and takes until the well runs dry, is likely to lead a lonely life. Serve and support your friends. What can you do for them? How can you help? What can you add to their life or their day to make it a little bit better?
7-Keep your promises. If you know you can’t deliver something, don’t promise that you will. If you make a promise, do you best to keep it. It is better to say “I don’t think I can make it on Saturday night, but lets get lunch next week,” than saying you will show up, and then accept a different invitation or cancel at the last minute
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